Understanding ADHD and Autism Together

When we talk about autism or ADHD in children, we often hear about them separately. But many children are both autistic *and* have ADHD—something that’s often misunderstood or missed altogether. If you're a parent navigating this space, you might be wondering why your child doesn't "fit" the typical image of autism, or why ADHD strategies aren’t quite working. The truth is: autism and ADHD together create a unique blend of traits that can look very different from what we’ve been told to expect.

Let’s explore this combination through a neurodiversity-affirming lens—one that sees your child’s differences not as deficits, but as part of who they are.

What People Typically Expect from Autism

When people picture an autistic child, they often imagine someone who:

* Likes routines and sameness

* Is quiet, perhaps non-speaking at times

* Avoids eye contact or social interaction

* Has strong, focused interests (sometimes called “special interests”)

* Might line up toys or play in repetitive ways

* Appears more withdrawn than other children

While some autistic children do show these traits, many do not. And when ADHD is also present, the picture can change even more dramatically.

How ADHD Can "Mask" or Shift Autistic Traits

ADHD brings with it:

* High energy and impulsivity

* A brain that switches attention quickly (rather than staying focused)

* Difficulty with waiting, planning, and following multi-step instructions

* A deep need for stimulation and movement

* Strong emotions that can erupt quickly and intensely

* Creativity and a fast-thinking mind

When ADHD and autism occur together, one can overshadow or confuse the other. Here's how:

Routine vs. Impulse

Autistic kids often prefer predictable routines, but when ADHD is also in the mix, the child may constantly seek novelty. They may crave structure but also find it hard to stick to routines or remember them. This can be confusing for parents who think, “If they like predictability, why are they always changing what they want?”

Focus vs. Inattention

Autistic children often have intense, deep focus on a specific interest. ADHD kids may struggle to focus for a long time—unless something truly excites them. A child with both might hyperfocus on a favorite topic for a short period before moving onto the next interest. Special interests tend to cycle more rapidly for kids with ADHD and autism.

Social Preferences vs. Social Impulsivity

Autistic kids might find social interaction overwhelming or confusing. With ADHD, a child may *crave* social interaction but struggle with reading cues, interrupting, or being too intense. This combo can lead to a child who really wants friends but struggles to connect in expected ways—and feels the pain of that mismatch deeply.

Stillness vs. Movement

Parents may hear that autistic kids “like to sit quietly doing one thing,” while ADHD kids “can’t sit still.” A child with both might stim (e.g., flap hands, rock, chew, or pace) and be constantly on the move. But their stims may not always be repetitive or consistent—instead, they might seek general body movement like spinning, jumping, climbing, or crashing into furniture. It’s their way of regulating a busy, overstimulated nervous system.

Repetitive Play vs. ADHD Creativity

Stereotypical autistic play is often described as lining things up in order. But for a child who is autistic and has ADHD, repetitive play may look different. They may sort toys into random-looking piles or abstract categories—ones that make perfect sense to them. It’s still pattern-based, it’s still meaningful—it just might not look “orderly” to adults.

Repetitive Speech vs. Impulsive Language

Autistic children may use echolalia (repeating words or phrases) as a way to process or communicate. When ADHD is also present, repetitive speech might be less about comfort or scripting and more about impulsivity—like repeating a silly word or phrase simply because it’s funny, catchy, or novel. It can feel spontaneous and playful, often driven by humour, enjoyment of sound, or just the fun of saying something that “feels good” to say—rather than being solely about calming or regulating.

Sensory Sensitivities vs. Sensory Seeking

Children with both autism and ADHD often have strong sensory preferences, with many showing a clear tendency to be sensory seeking. This means they actively look for intense input—like movement, touch, sound, or visual stimulation—to help regulate their emotions and stay alert. You might notice them constantly moving, touching objects, making loud noises, or being drawn to flashing lights or spinning toys. Unlike many autistic children who are more commonly sensory sensitive—becoming overwhelmed by bright lights, loud sounds, or certain textures—those with co-occurring ADHD may crave this input and appear to thrive on it. Their sensory needs can easily be mistaken for hyperactivity or disruptive behaviour, when in reality, it's a way of self-regulating. Recognising these differences is key to providing environments that support their unique sensory needs.

Why This Matters for Parents

When you only look for *one* picture—"classic autism" or "classic ADHD"—you may miss what's really going on for your child. You might be told they’re “too social to be autistic” or “too distracted to be autistic,” or that their challenges are “just ADHD.” But your child might be both—and that knowledge can change everything.

Understanding the interplay between ADHD and autism helps you:

* Respond to your child’s needs with more empathy

* Advocate more effectively for the right supports

* Let go of comparisons with neurotypical development

* Focus on your child’s strengths, not just their struggles

If your child is both autistic and ADHD, they are navigating the world with a double dose of difference. That can be hard—but also beautiful. Their sensitivity, creativity, and honesty are gifts. They need understanding, not judgment. Support, not fixing.

As a parent, trusting your instincts and seeing beyond stereotypes is the most powerful thing you can do.